The heart breaker:

14-Year-Old Shot In Chest
POSTED: Monday, December 29, 2008
UPDATED: 11:15 am CST December 29, 2008

HOUSTON -- Houston police are trying to figure out who shot a 14-year-old in the chest on Monday, KPRC Local 2 reported.
The teen tried to find help at an apartment complex on Kings Gate Circle near Fondren Road at about 4:30 a.m.

If the north pole becomes completely ice-free this summer (which won't happen, but some scientists say it will) will Santa have to relocate? Who will pay for this relocation? Will the United Elf Union demand 90% wages during the relocation? Will we have to bailout Santa?

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Show your bipartisanship by getting that crazy liberal in your life a Sarah Palin calendar.

(Loosely Based on an AP story by Seth Borenstein.)

Beavers reported for 'logging'
Green campaigners called in police after discovering an illegal logging site in a nature reserve - only to find it was the work of beavers.

Environmentalists found 20 neatly stacked tree trunks and others marked for felling with notches at the beauty-spot at Subkowy in northern Poland.

Detroit pirates who have held American consumers hostage for twenty years have demanded $25 billion in ransom and set a deadline for the end of the year.

“We are demanding $25 billion from the American government,” said Rick Wagoner, one of the Chief Executive pirates, in a speech from a podium in Washington DC.

Astronomers have taken what they say are the first-ever direct images of planets outside of our solar system, including a visible-light snapshot of a single-planet system and an infrared picture of a multiple-planet system.

The mutilated lesbian is pregnant again. You are going to start hearing in the news about the ~pregnant man~. Anybody with two brain cells to rub together can tell you 'that can't happen'.

Click here for a "See! I told you so!"

To you, the people who didn’t care for either party and chose to vote for Bob Barr
You who decided not to vote for McCain because you are angry with George W Bush
To you I say, your decisions resulted in a vote for Socialism. May the wealth be spread from you, not to you.

To you, the unwed pregnant mother living in Pennsylvania

Free gas? Free mortgage?
I can't say any more. Watch this.

Is Biden drunk?

Need proof?

In order to use up all of his current bankroll before election day, Barack Obama will need to spend 12.5 million dollars per day. Yet, he is still asking for more.

Alright. This is good enough for me. No more debates needed. No need to even vote! Sarah is HOT!

At a time when three quarters of Americans think we are in a recession, the tragedy channels failed to tell you that in fact, we are not.

Nearly 125 AMERICANS Shot Dead In Over The Summer

(CBS) ? An estimated 123 people were shot and killed over the summer. Information from wire service reports indicate that 123 Americans were shot and killed throughout the city this summer. In the same time period, an estimated 245 people were shot and wounded in the city.